July 22, 2016

I have been gone for the last week to my sisters place in Vancouver ... originally it was to help with her kids, babysitting, picking up and delivering to different activities while her husband was out of town.  So I booked the flight and then plans changed and he didn't go.  However the ticket was purchased and non refundable so I went anyways.  Kind of frustrating because normally I would have visited for a long weekend and it wouldn't have messed up my schedule so badly.   However it was fun and I did a massive amount of walking as they only have one car (way ahead on my km's now). 

In some ways I like Vancouver, its pretty and getting around without a car is not that difficult however they live downtown and I realized that I am spoiled for noise and space.  I find it stressful with the constant traffic noise and everything is so crowded.  People have that private / blank way of being that says 'I am in my own space ... do not enter'.  Still managed to work in several acts of kindness, one on the bus with some elderly chinese ladies that were totally suprised when I moved so they could sit together in a bank of four seats.  They were cute ... thanking me profusely in broken english.  Helped a lot of ladies with strollers and babies, we must be having a baby boom ... they were everywhere!  There was a lot of hesitation and doubt on their faces when I offered to help, such a shame that they have to worry about whether to accept help ... Is it safe?  Is she crazy?  Will she ask me for money or smell bad or invade my space in some unacceptable way? 

Can't fit the horsewisk or tai chi in the front yard (its really tiny) you have to go to the park a couple blocks away and everybody looks at you funny, which is awkward.

I have not developed the city mode of being in my own space in a crowd where I can close out all that other stimulus and put out the 'I am in my own space ... do not enter' vibe. Not sure I would do well living in the city?   Very glad to be home!

No Sense of Rhythm

Was looking for the right word to describe the struggle I have been having trying to stay focused and on track with my I Ho Chuan, work, and personal responsibilities. 

Rhythm was it ...

NOUN

1. a strong, regular, repeated pattern of movement or sound:

I am not on time/beat. 

 

The year of the monkey I promised myself that I would blog EVERY WEEK!   I am trying to increase my level of trust/engagement in the I Ho Chuan program by faithfully blogging, Sifu Brinker says its the most important part of staying engaged and being successful.  So far I have only missed two blogs which for me is record setting ... I have usually fallen off the blogging process by the end of April.  But I have noticed that some of the blogs are not happening on Wednesday the designated blogging day, they are wandering in on Friday or even Sunday.  So my consistency is wobbling, some of the blogs are dashed off in a hurry and not very well thought out or even relevant.  So I am meeting the 'letter of' rather than the 'intent of' the blogging process.  I have lost the rhythm of meeting my numbers ... some days doing almost nothing and then scrambling to catch up.   Part of it I think is my personality, I don't even know what its like to be self disciplined and maintain a steady flow, step by step and win the game.  To just go forward, rarely in a rush, focused, not stressed and getting an amazing amount of work accomplished would be a treat.  My method is rush in with enthusiasm, over commit on too many fronts, get distracted by the urgent rather than the important, get stressed out and emotional, disappoint myself and fail.  Do I know why I am like this .... nope!  Its a constant battle to emulate/maintain the balanced Steady Eddie lifestyle.  Changing habits / personality characteristics is hard.  I want to be better, and yet committing to something as simple as eating breakfast and taking my supplements EVERY DAY without fail is not something I have achieved to date.  I have to live to be at least a hundred and as I will need the time to make a lot of these improvements and changes.