It's been busy and unfortunately due to my vehicle accident I can now state that I am behind on my pushups but gaining on my numbers for the tai chi form as it has been pretty much all I can do this last month. A benefit is that although I can't take on anything to strenous for awhile Sifu Freitag worked with us injured black belts on Friday on Mu Long Koon (not sure of the spelling) and I learned alot ... it was totally awesome. So even if you are broken it is worth getting to class.
I have been attempting to take on Sifu Mckinleys challenge and having some issues;
Number 1 & 2 : The challenge is that sometimes I spend the whole day driving around alone, or dealing with this problem or that, or with my head buried in my work and don't even notice an hour go by. Poor Dean (husband) wondered what was going on as I spent a large part of my day working with him and he was starting to wonder what I was setting him up for with all the compliments and acts of kindness he was getting. Tonight and tommorrow night I am writing the heart felt letter (#3) and making a graditude list (#4), Wednesday should be intersting as I have to hug 10 different people and I am not normally the huggy type. Wish me luck!
10 more sleeps until our vacation, we (Brandi, Melanie Dean & I) are going out to Pender Island for a 5 day vacation. The girls are taking the truck and Dean and I are riding the motorcycle. For anyone that rides motorcycles well this is a dream, all those winding roads make the ride a real rush. Not to mention incredible scenary and weather, what more could you ask for ... I am really exicited about it. Plus this is my last chance to vacation with my girls for quite a while as they will be in China training in Kung Fu.
Today I went to the bank and began the process of paying their tuition, very complicated what with canadian dollars and chinese yuan and a total pain, but you gotta do what you gotta do. So I guess this means that they are really going ... I've been avoiding the issue as much as I can. I am very proud of both of them for being so brave and ambitious and totally freaked out about the time committment and the fact that its in China, across an entire ocean and god knows how many time zones. Brandi took pity on me and bought a web cam and set the computer at work up on something called skype so we can talk and actually see each other so hopefully the empty nest syndrome won't be as bad as last time. My husband sincerely hopes so.
Sorry nothing brilliant to say, no epiphany's or deep realizations just chit chat.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Pondering
I have accomplished one more thing in my seemingly endless and challenging list of things to get done in 09. My husband and I did a solo foxtrot routine at the Arthur Murray Dance Event on May 30th. One more step on the path to overcoming fear and mastering ballroom dancing. So I heard the first bar of music ... and did the opening moves and then well awareness flickered in and out after that. Its a good thing my husband is the lead and has very good timing, all I have to do is follow.
Its kind of weird how it goes. When Dean (husband) and I are learning a routine I am not in the midst of stage fright and it can be a struggle. I think I know what step is coming next and I go there ... I do not wait for anyone to lead me. I have a very hard time waiting for the lead, I anticipate and change weight when I shouldn't and don't change when I should, I make committed moves, turn my upper body in anticipation of where the routine will go, do not lead with my feet only, (no shifting of weight) and do not maintain my centre over the foot (feet) that I am standing on. Well regardless it can get pretty messy.
My husband actually told me that I follow better when I am suffering from stage fright and can't even focus enough to hear the music, then I follow the lead like I should, I don't make committed moves because I can't remember them and I don't anticipate ... I wait!!! So there is a lesson in this somewhere ... something that works in dancing, kung fu and life.
I am pondering, I just can't quite grasp or verbalize it yet ...
Its kind of weird how it goes. When Dean (husband) and I are learning a routine I am not in the midst of stage fright and it can be a struggle. I think I know what step is coming next and I go there ... I do not wait for anyone to lead me. I have a very hard time waiting for the lead, I anticipate and change weight when I shouldn't and don't change when I should, I make committed moves, turn my upper body in anticipation of where the routine will go, do not lead with my feet only, (no shifting of weight) and do not maintain my centre over the foot (feet) that I am standing on. Well regardless it can get pretty messy.
My husband actually told me that I follow better when I am suffering from stage fright and can't even focus enough to hear the music, then I follow the lead like I should, I don't make committed moves because I can't remember them and I don't anticipate ... I wait!!! So there is a lesson in this somewhere ... something that works in dancing, kung fu and life.
I am pondering, I just can't quite grasp or verbalize it yet ...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Epiphany and Stupidity
So I had one (epiphany) ... and it has to do with the word intensity.
Sifu Brinker has used this word when speaking to me and/or us like how many times ... and I realized about a week after his talk at the sehing class a couple of weeks ago about being emotional when sparring/fighting that I have not been getting the message that he was sending.
It all has to do with what the word intensity encompasses for me. Previous to my epiphany ... I had the word intensity linked with emotional. It meant out of control emotions, like wow that person is intense, which to me in my growing up years I had to deal with alot and it really left some emotional scarring. I avoided people that were intense (out of control emotional) like the plague, unless of course they are relatives which you actually have to deal with. I never trusted people that revealed too much intensity (emotional highs and lows), they were unreliable and on the verge of loosing control. So to me the word intense had some very negative conotations and unpleasant memories.
I have struggled my whole life to overcome the genetics and behaviours that I learned during my growing up, emotional outbursts, yelling, and a fight to the death type of arguing that has nothing to do with reason and everything to do with ego. So whenever Sifu Brinker started talking about intensity I was resistant, it appeared to lead down a path I did not want to go.
My point is that the intensity that Sifu Brinker talks about and requires that every black belt to attain is all about control and focus. Over emotional out of control behaviour is the opposite of what he defines as intensity. Sifu Brinkers definition is what I refer to as 'serious'. If its serious in my books it requires focus and attention, it needs to be taken seriously.
After my epiphany I realized that intensity is intellectual (mental focus, mastering technique, etc.) and heart (the desire, the passion for the art). Wow, what a relief!
So how long have I been studying martial arts and learning from Sifu Brinker ... its been a long, long, time. I guess I'm a slow learner! Better late than never.
Now that Master McNeils visit is over and its business as usual I thought it would be the perfect time to show Sifu Brinker and Sifu Freitag the form that I created. Unfortunately at work yesterday I hurt my back (stupidity)and could not stand up right. Brandi used the pounding poi technique that Master McNeil taught us and I can now stand up almost straight (I have a slight bend and limp and may actually need to use the cane I have at home). The pain however is signficantly less (much appreciated Master McNeil & Brandi) and I have a treatment booked with my physiotherapist who is treating me for a back injury I got a month ago when a lady hit my truck from the side. So much for my lightning fast kungfu reflexes, but in my defense I never saw her coming or believe me I would have dodged/ducked whatever. Honestly life is silly sometimes, this goes back to the last post with curve balls.
Talk to you soon ...
Sifu Brinker has used this word when speaking to me and/or us like how many times ... and I realized about a week after his talk at the sehing class a couple of weeks ago about being emotional when sparring/fighting that I have not been getting the message that he was sending.
It all has to do with what the word intensity encompasses for me. Previous to my epiphany ... I had the word intensity linked with emotional. It meant out of control emotions, like wow that person is intense, which to me in my growing up years I had to deal with alot and it really left some emotional scarring. I avoided people that were intense (out of control emotional) like the plague, unless of course they are relatives which you actually have to deal with. I never trusted people that revealed too much intensity (emotional highs and lows), they were unreliable and on the verge of loosing control. So to me the word intense had some very negative conotations and unpleasant memories.
I have struggled my whole life to overcome the genetics and behaviours that I learned during my growing up, emotional outbursts, yelling, and a fight to the death type of arguing that has nothing to do with reason and everything to do with ego. So whenever Sifu Brinker started talking about intensity I was resistant, it appeared to lead down a path I did not want to go.
My point is that the intensity that Sifu Brinker talks about and requires that every black belt to attain is all about control and focus. Over emotional out of control behaviour is the opposite of what he defines as intensity. Sifu Brinkers definition is what I refer to as 'serious'. If its serious in my books it requires focus and attention, it needs to be taken seriously.
After my epiphany I realized that intensity is intellectual (mental focus, mastering technique, etc.) and heart (the desire, the passion for the art). Wow, what a relief!
So how long have I been studying martial arts and learning from Sifu Brinker ... its been a long, long, time. I guess I'm a slow learner! Better late than never.
Now that Master McNeils visit is over and its business as usual I thought it would be the perfect time to show Sifu Brinker and Sifu Freitag the form that I created. Unfortunately at work yesterday I hurt my back (stupidity)and could not stand up right. Brandi used the pounding poi technique that Master McNeil taught us and I can now stand up almost straight (I have a slight bend and limp and may actually need to use the cane I have at home). The pain however is signficantly less (much appreciated Master McNeil & Brandi) and I have a treatment booked with my physiotherapist who is treating me for a back injury I got a month ago when a lady hit my truck from the side. So much for my lightning fast kungfu reflexes, but in my defense I never saw her coming or believe me I would have dodged/ducked whatever. Honestly life is silly sometimes, this goes back to the last post with curve balls.
Talk to you soon ...
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