Naked in public!

This is the first time I have ever posted any type of blog, people may read it or they may not. Still I feel like I am standing out in public only in my underwear. Sharing my thoughts, struggles, triumphs on such a public venue is nerve wracking. I guess I have a fear of being judged, other people thinking I'm weird or bad in some way, but that is the reason I decided to do this. Although I am not officially part of the UBBT at Silent River Kung Fu (due to other conflicting commitments) I believe the program has a great deal of value so I am participating as best I can. One of the requirements is to journal publicly, something that makes my stomach tighten up and my breath get choppy (FEAR). I am committing to a weekly posting on this blog site and I will send the link to Master Brinker as part of the challenge that I have (with his help) designed for myself. Hopefully I will have something intelligent or insightful to share.

Fear is a unique condition, physiologically it is designed to enable you to take action when your life is threatened in some way. As human beings we have added imagination, this enables us to come up with all the worst case scenarios so that we can then WORRY and FRET about all said scenarios. We build the fear, bigger and bigger, until it incapacitates us, the exact opposite of what it is designed to do which is save us from injury or death.

Many, many times it is the unknown, that scares us the most. Something we have never done before, situations that are outside the comfort zone that most of us wallow in. I am very knowledgeable about this, as I have conciously designed and wallow in this comfortable area. I strongly resist any sudden or drastic changes. I have only taken on one extreme challenge, my black belt grading, and it took me years to work up the nerve. I have a very limited circle of friends, my daughters and my husband, with some select family members (in and outlaws). I like my life to flow along without to many ripples, surrounded by the people I love. I don't want to have to work to hard to achieve things and luckily for me I am reasonably intelligent so I get by okay. Lets face it my life is VERY comfortable.

Unfortunately it limits personal growth. My philosophy/belief is that the creator put me here to learn and grow and achieve, life from day one to the end should be an evolution of you/me/them as a person. I truly wish that it wasn't such hard work.

The whole UBBT challenge is about expanding horizons and experiences, I couldn't ignore that. Some opportunities that cross your path, can change your path, I expect for myself and many of the UBBT members to discover new roads as a result our participation in this program, officially or not.

Talk to you next week.