So I missed the Thursday deadline for posting my blog, it was such a frustrating week that I never even noticed the date. Sad but true, I am either too much in the moment or not enough, I am not sure which.
So today is Sunday and I will be spending a good portion of the day catching up on my Tai Chi practice, my swimming and my journaling. I have had to put my foot down as far as priorities go this week. Finish up the renovations and my committments at work made a serious dent in my Kung Fu plans so it has been a fight all week with myself to stay in groove.
Why oh why will I half kill myself to meet obligations for work and expectations of friends and family and leave myself (meaning Kung Fu, or dancing) for last. Do I not value my own wants and needs equal to others? Is this woman, wife, mother programming where we put others before ourselves? Is it all my ego that has me believing that only 'I' can take on these responsibilties /problems/needs and deal with them? It is my need to be in control that makes me feel safe and secure knowing that I am in charge? Ah such arrogance!
I believe I need to put on my black kung fu uniform to remind myself to be humble, allow others to take on the responsibilities so that they too can learn and grow, and trust that things will work out even if I am not in charge. Then I can focus and enjoy the tai chi practice and reward myself for the swimming with the tarzan swing at the pool, practice ballroom dancing with my husband, and enjoy next week instead of battling with my own ego.
Keep your fingers crossed for me.
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