Started learning the horse whisk form, very exciting! Working in front of the mirrors at the kwoon can be a bit grim, what felt smooth and graceful while practising does not look like that in front of the mirrors ... yikes!!! I look slow and lumbering, when I actually want to look cool and dangerous. In my logical side I think ... okay you have only been at this form for a week, give yourself a break. But my emotional side comes up with some very negative back talk and not just about my form but body image as well.
I want to use the mirrors as a tool to help me perfect my form but its hard not to be distracted by seeing EVERYTHING that I perceive as less than perfect. Does everyone go through this mental exercise in front of a mirror. I actually have to mentally drown out the negative body image rhetoric by focusing specifically and looking and asking myself are my feet or hands in the right positions, do I have my hips aligned correctly, are my shoulders in the right position in relation to my hips and so on. Really what does my messy hair or body size have to do with my kung fu. I need a new paradigm ... one where I see a martial artist and focus on the skeletal alignment, stances and the flow of what I am doing and can turn off Terry on her personal channel listing all her imperfections.
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