Epiphany and Stupidity

So I had one (epiphany) ... and it has to do with the word intensity.

Sifu Brinker has used this word when speaking to me and/or us like how many times ... and I realized about a week after his talk at the sehing class a couple of weeks ago about being emotional when sparring/fighting that I have not been getting the message that he was sending.

It all has to do with what the word intensity encompasses for me. Previous to my epiphany ... I had the word intensity linked with emotional. It meant out of control emotions, like wow that person is intense, which to me in my growing up years I had to deal with alot and it really left some emotional scarring. I avoided people that were intense (out of control emotional) like the plague, unless of course they are relatives which you actually have to deal with. I never trusted people that revealed too much intensity (emotional highs and lows), they were unreliable and on the verge of loosing control. So to me the word intense had some very negative conotations and unpleasant memories.

I have struggled my whole life to overcome the genetics and behaviours that I learned during my growing up, emotional outbursts, yelling, and a fight to the death type of arguing that has nothing to do with reason and everything to do with ego. So whenever Sifu Brinker started talking about intensity I was resistant, it appeared to lead down a path I did not want to go.

My point is that the intensity that Sifu Brinker talks about and requires that every black belt to attain is all about control and focus. Over emotional out of control behaviour is the opposite of what he defines as intensity. Sifu Brinkers definition is what I refer to as 'serious'. If its serious in my books it requires focus and attention, it needs to be taken seriously.

After my epiphany I realized that intensity is intellectual (mental focus, mastering technique, etc.) and heart (the desire, the passion for the art). Wow, what a relief!

So how long have I been studying martial arts and learning from Sifu Brinker ... its been a long, long, time. I guess I'm a slow learner! Better late than never.

Now that Master McNeils visit is over and its business as usual I thought it would be the perfect time to show Sifu Brinker and Sifu Freitag the form that I created. Unfortunately at work yesterday I hurt my back (stupidity)and could not stand up right. Brandi used the pounding poi technique that Master McNeil taught us and I can now stand up almost straight (I have a slight bend and limp and may actually need to use the cane I have at home). The pain however is signficantly less (much appreciated Master McNeil & Brandi) and I have a treatment booked with my physiotherapist who is treating me for a back injury I got a month ago when a lady hit my truck from the side. So much for my lightning fast kungfu reflexes, but in my defense I never saw her coming or believe me I would have dodged/ducked whatever. Honestly life is silly sometimes, this goes back to the last post with curve balls.

Talk to you soon ...